Help for a Loved One

The 4 Themes of Living With an Addict or Alcoholic

So often, addiction is discussed as an illness that causes difficulty for only the one addicted. Yet time has shown that addiction is a family disease, and the entire family is impacted by the addicted person’s thoughts and actions.

Living with an addict presents unusual circumstances and situations for the other family members in the home. Rarely do people expect to find themselves dealing with an addicted loved one, and they are therefore woefully unprepared to support them while protecting themselves and their families.

You Are Not Alone

If you are living with an addict, living with an addicted spouse, or with an addicted child, please know that you are not alone. Survey data show that about 1 in 8 children in the U.S. lives in a home with a parent who uses illegal drugs and/or alcohol.1 In addition to adults misusing substances, within recent years, studies show an increasing rate of family members under the age of 18 also developing an addiction to drugs, alcohol, and especially the internet and cell phones.

Those statistics may then help to normalize your thoughts and feelings surrounding the one addicted in the home. At times you may feel as if you are misinterpreting, becoming overly suspicious, or overreacting to various situations. Yet, so many others are experiencing the same difficulties as you while living with someone who is addicted, therefore validating your experiences.

Four Themes of Living with an Addict

When there is addiction in the home, four themes develop in the family unit. These themes are a natural progression from initial awareness of the addiction to readiness for change. These four things are:

• Grieving the loss
• Living in dread and despair
• Living in perpetual crisis
• Mitigating the impact of addiction in the family